To the woman in the waiting —
May you hear the still small voice above the noise.
May you rise in belief when man speaks doubt.
And may you remember that YAHUAH alone has the final say.
“Trust in YAHUAH with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.”
— Mishlei (Proverbs) 3:5, את Cepher
“Let YAHUAH be true, but every man a liar.”
— Romaiym (Romans) 3:4, את Cepher
A Spiritually Dark Place, But YAHUAH Was There
On Friday, May 16, I began spotting lightly. At first, I tried to stay calm, but something in my spirit stirred. By Saturday, the bleeding increased, and I passed a larger piece of tissue. I wasn’t in pain — but emotionally and spiritually, I felt unsettled. I had a headache, a racing heart, and no peace.
By 4 a.m. on Sunday, May 18, I knew we couldn’t wait. My husband and I packed our toddlers into the car and drove to the ER. The moment we entered, the atmosphere was dense — spiritually dark, oppressive, chaotic. It felt like a twilight zone. Staff members laughed in the hallways as if it were a breakroom. I wanted to cry.
When I was called in for the ultrasound, I was trembling and bleeding. The technician was kind. Gentle. She offered me the choice to skip the transvaginal scan, but I agreed — I needed clarity.
The doctor confirmed a gestational sac.
He said I was just earlier than I thought — likely 4 or 5 weeks at most.
My HCG was “low”, but not zero. It aligned with early pregnancy.
For the first time, I exhaled.
But just before we left, something happened I’ll never forget.
A man was brought into a room near ours — moaning and screaming in what sounded like demonic torment. The spiritual pressure around us was thick.
So we lifted our voices.
“Baruch Haba B’Shem YAHUAH… HalleluYAH…”
We sang as a family in that hospital.
It wasn’t just a song — it was warfare.
We were not just fighting for my womb — we were declaring victory over the seed YAHUAH had planted.
And I believe that’s exactly why the enemy was attacking.
“The thief comes not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”
— Yahuchanon (John) 10:10, את Cepher
HCG Drops, Pressure Builds — But the Ruach Said “Wait”
After the ER visit, I was sent home to rest and follow up with my midwife.
That week, I began progesterone support, and the bleeding began to slow.
But my HCG levels began to drop.
From 1,144… to 251… to 108… over the span of just a few days.
Still — I had no pain. No cramping.
And I still felt pregnant.
But instead of considering the whole picture, my midwife said:
“It looks like you had a miscarriage.”
She said this before any follow-up ultrasound.
Before asking how I was doing.
The Second Appointment: Cold Atmosphere, Rushed Conclusion
By Friday, May 23, I was sent to a clinic referred by my midwife for a second opinion. What I encountered there was deeply unsettling.
A woman walked out of the ultrasound room flaunting her printed baby pictures, dressed immodestly. It felt like a spiritual slap in the face.
Christian music played — using the name J-E-S-U-S, not the true messiah, YAHUSHA.
My 4-year-old looked up at me concerned with the music as if to say “Why are they singing ‘J-E-S-U-S’? We don’t believe that. We believe in YAHUAH.”
I knew then: this place was not where I’d find truth.
Because truth only flows from the Ruach Ha’Qodash — not from man.
There was a false sense of peace — but no reverence. No Ruach.
The male ultrasound tech called me by two wrong names.
He was 30 minutes late, showed no compassion, and didn’t offer a transvaginal scan — even though I was likely only 5–6 weeks. He very quickly performed an abdominal scan, which at that stage often shows nothing.
Just scanned… and asked for payment.
Then came the words from my midwife:
“There’s nothing there.”
“It’s a molar pregnancy.”
“We’re referring you for a D&C.”
No compassion. No follow-up. No second look.
Just a rushed decision based on one scan and a drop in labs.
And yet… my bleeding had stopped, my heart still believed, and I was not ready to agree with this conclusion.
A Confirmation from the Ruach
Just before that appointment, both my sister and my close friend texted me after I asked them for prayer separately.
Neither planned it.
But both messages said the exact same words:
“YAHUAH has the final say.”
I knew immediately — it was confirmation from the Ruach Ha’Qodash.
YAHUAH was not silent. He was guiding me to wait.
What They Don’t Tell You (But You Deserve to Know)
What they won’t say in most clinics:
HCG can dip and rise again early in pregnancy. Low progesterone can be supplemented and still support healthy development. A gestational sac means implantation happened — and timing matters. Abdominal ultrasounds often miss early development. Transvaginal is standard under 7 weeks.
You are allowed to ask questions.
You are allowed to wait.
You are allowed to trust YAHUAH.
“Wait on YAHUAH: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart: wait, I say, on YAHUAH.”
— Tehilliym (Psalms) 27:14, את Cepher
“For the vision is yet for an appointed time… though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.”
— Chabaqquq (Habakkuk) 2:3, את Cepher
To the Woman in the Waiting Room…
You’re not crazy for questioning.
You’re not weak for hoping.
You’re not naive for waiting.
If something in your spirit says pause — listen.
That small voice is the Ruach Ha’Qodash whispering,
“Wait. Trust Me. I’m still writing the story.”
Reflection: Trusting His Whisper
“He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he does shall prosper.”
— Tehilliym (Psalms) 1:3, את Cepher
Final Words for the Brokenhearted Woman
To the woman who has been told: “There’s no hope” —
I say this over you:
YAHUAH has the final say.
Not man.
Not machines.
Not medicine.
Only the Author of Life — the One who formed you in the womb, who numbers your days in love.
So wait on Him. Fast. Pray. Seek truth.
Ask questions. Speak up.
And never be afraid to advocate for your child, your womb, and your peace.
Prayer for the One in the Waiting
Abba YAHUAH,
You see her. You know her.
Give her ears to hear the whisper of Your Ruach.
Speak louder than fear, stronger than pressure, and softer than shame.
Cover her womb in shalom. Strengthen her belief.
Let her testify of Your goodness — whether in life, in loss, or in waiting.
In the name of YAHUSHA Ha’Mashiach,
Amein.
“YAHUAH has the final say.”
You are not alone.
I write, dream, and sing for Yahuah 